


no strings attached

by lilithqueen



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Booty Calls, Dirty Talk, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, attempted denial of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-01-28 08:59:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12603016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithqueen/pseuds/lilithqueen
Summary: A fling. That's all it's supposed to be. Certainly that's all Estinien is getting out of it, so Alphinaud shouldn't be longing for more with every late-night summons over the linkpearl. It's just sex, isn't it?No. No, it's not.





	1. thread

**Author's Note:**

> Work set some 2+ years in the future, Alphy is of age and that growth spurt finally hit (he's still about a head shorter than Estinien but that's because Esti is _damn tall_ )

The rebuilt, Imperial-free palace of Ala Mhigo had many fine qualities—excellent food, warm sunny days, the company of his friends—but it was cold and lonely in Alphinaud’s rooms when the sun went down. The chronometer on the wall ticked steadily as he tried to read by candlelight; his linkpearl lay abandoned on the bedside table and he refused to stare at it until it chimed. He was not so desperate.

He’d called and been answered. He’d find something to amuse himself with until then.

_The city-state of Ala Mhigo was founded…was founded…_

It was no use. Grimacing, he slammed the book shut on the table and flopped back against the pillows, squeezing his eyes shut until afterimages flashed behind his lids. _Where are you…?_

The sounds of his door opening and heavy boots being dropped carelessly on the floor made him twitch, but he didn’t open his eyes; something in him unknotted at the warm pitch of his lover’s voice. “I told you I was on my way. Don’t tell me you decided not to wait…?”

“Estinien…” It came out in a sigh, and he tilted his face up as their mouths met in a warm, nearly tender kiss that sent an unwarranted rush of emotions through him. The man could be rough, all sharp edges and biting comments, but at moments like this—bracketed by strong arms on either side of him, weight on the bed where Estinien hovered over him, the softness of his shirt and fallen locks of loose hair against his bare skin—it almost felt like he _cared_. Like this was something entirely different, entirely more than a casual tumble between friends.

It couldn’t be, of course. He was quite sure Estinien didn’t care for him _that_ much, at least in that way. But down that train of thought lay pain, and so when he broke the kiss he murmured, “You took so long, maybe I changed my mind.”

Calloused fingers trailed down his side, and Estinien huffed quietly. “If you want me to leave...”

 _Never._ He shivered at the touch, finally opening his eyes to see his lover’s face. Estinien always looked a bit tired, but now those dark blue eyes were alight with desire, and it made Alphinaud lick his lips a little at the reminded that he _wanted_ him. There was enough space between their bodies still for him to move, arching against him and very deliberately letting his legs fall open; he still wore his smallclothes, but it would be the work of a moment for Estinien to tear them off if he was so inclined. “You _did_ come all this way. I would be a poor host if I sent you away with nothing to show for it.”

“Hah!” No matter how many times he saw it, Estinien’s smirk still made his heart race, especially when he ran a hand down his chest and added in a teasing purr, “As an infrequent guest, I suppose I ought to leave you with fond memories of our time together.”

“You—ah, _Estinien_.” He was lowering his head and mouthing along Alphinaud’s throat, each point of contact between hot mouth and cool skin sending skittering little pulses of pleasure through his nerves. When he paused, humming quietly just above his collarbone while he sucked a mark into the skin, the vibrations pulled a noise out of Alphinaud he was embarrassed to consider a whine, and he buried his fingers in Estinien’s thick hair to encourage him to keep at it. His voice came out in a breathy sigh. “More, like th--”

The sudden sting of teeth made his whole body jolt, rocking up against his lover with a gasp. He was achingly hard in an instant, but Estinien was already pulling away, pausing to shoot him a satisfied look from under his lashes as he continued nibbling along his collarbone. His voice was a nearly smug rumble, hot breath washing feverishly over Alphinaud’s skin. “You taste as good as I remember, but maybe my memory is rusting...”

His free hand found the hem of Estinien’s shirt, giving him an encouraging tug backwards. It was hard to _think_ when such delicious attention was being paid to him, but he had very firm recollections of the last time his lover had had a proper taste of him. Even the suggestion was enough to make him grind against his hip. “Nnh…go on, then, and see.”

Estinien hummed, pulling back to watch him for a moment. “So bossy. So _demanding_. But I suppose I can live with that…” Hands found their way to his hips, stripping him naked with practiced ease; it had taken a few nights and a mutual unspoken agreement to never speak of their fumbles again, but by now they had the removal of each other’s clothes down to an art.

Alphinaud hissed as the cool air met his straining cock, but it was a temporary inconvenience next to the sight of Estinien kneeling between his legs, still mostly dressed and eyeing him so hungrily that he felt his heart skip a beat. He knew he was blushing, but he spread his knees, shifting to arrange himself more comfortably on the sheets, and breathed out, “Well? Don’t tell me you’re just going to _stare._ ”

“I could.” The hand on his knee pulling his leg up made him gasp; when it was followed by a biting kiss to his soft inner thigh, he whined quietly. Estinien’s voice was a low, rough growl. “You’re so pretty, all spread out for me—I am no artist, I have to _look_ to commend the sight to memory.” The kisses trailing down his thigh, closer and closer, were lighter with nearly no teeth—and he might have called them teasing, except that Estinien was still _talking_. “Mmm...though no artist could capture this—how you feel, all hot and panting under me. I wonder…mmm…”

He’d dug his fingers into the sheets; now he dared to lift a hand, burying it in Estinien’s hair as the man nuzzled at the curve of his hipbone. Words were nearly impossible, but they proved to be unnecessary; as soon as he drew breath to attempt something on the order of _please_ or _damn you, Estinien_ , a hot, wet mouth settled over the head of his cock and he nearly screamed, toes curling as Estinien put his lips and tongue to work. “Ahh—dear gods, Estinien!” A deeply satisfied-sounding hum was his only answer, the vibrations making him shudder. Gods, but Estinien was _good_ at this. “More, please, don’t _stop_ \--”

He clearly didn’t plan to. When Alphinaud rocked his hips forward, he made a rough sound in his throat, hands grabbing for his ass to hold him steady; Alphinaud might have apologized, except then Estinien was lowering his head and damn near swallowing him whole. All he could do was cry out, grip tightening on his lover’s hair. “Seven hells, Esti—if you keep that up, I’m...”

Estinien _growled_. Growled and kept up the pace, lips wrapped around his cock and tongue lapping at the head each time he pulled back; it was incredible, and when he gazed up at him heatedly and hummed low in his throat, Alphinaud shuddered. “Not going to _last_ \--”

And then he was tilting his head and taking him nearly to the root, sucking hard, and Alphinaud was arching nearly off the bed as his release hit, a shuddering spasm that whited out the edges of his world for a moment. He was exquisitely conscious of Estinien swallowing through it, the firm grip on his hips anchoring him in place as he panted.

When Estinien drew back, wiping his mouth on his arm, he sounded immensely satisfied. “I was right.”

Belatedly, he remembered to let go of Estinien’s hair, petting it in silent apology. “...What?” It always took a few moments for him to recollect himself after orgasm, which in this case was not helped by the way his lover was stroking his thigh.

And sliding back up his body, nosing at his throat where he was sure he would have marks the next morning. “You _do_ taste good.”

He felt his face heat. “Incorrigible.”

Estinien traced his collarbone lightly with his nails before running a hand down his chest, thumb idly circling one nipple, and he shivered. He’d thought himself sated, but the touch was still enough to make his cock twitch. His lover smirked at him. “Insatiable. You’ll run me ragged trying to satisfy you, Alphinaud.”

 _Two can play that game._ And Estinien’s hard cock was a hot press against his thigh, impossible to ignore. He slid a hand up his back, fingers skating featherlight over the scars at his neck, and ran his thumb over the edge of his ear. Estinien’s gasp was music to his ears; encouraged, he did it again. He didn’t bother hiding his triumph. “Are you complaining? I certainly haven’t noticed a lack of effort on your part— _oh_.”

Estinien shifted his weight, pressing a thigh between his legs; the friction against his recently stimulated cock was almost too much, and for a moment he couldn’t think straight. The hesitation gave Estinien the opening he needed to grab his wrists, pinning him to the bed. The gleam in his eyes made Alphinaud tremble with anticipation even before he breathed, “With you so hot for me, no matter _how_ you want me in bed? The way you fall apart under my hands, the way you _beg_ for more of everything I give you? I came to see you thoroughly sated, and I plan to leave you that way.”

Alphinaud rocked against him, closing the scant ilms between them to steal a hungry kiss. The ferocity with which Estinien craved him sent fire through his veins, even with the attending reminder that this was temporary. _He’ll leave. He’ll be gone in the morning, and it’ll be weeks before I see him again. Before he comes back to me. So...we’ll make this a night to remember._ When he pulled back, his traitorous voice shook. “Then why are you still dressed?”

He released his wrists, sitting up incredulously. Alphinaud followed him, reaching to unlace his shirt. “You greeted me looking like the gods’ gift to poor dragoons and you think I was going to stop to deal with laces? _Honestly_ , boy, you’re fortunate I took my armor off…oh.” The hard muscles and planes of his stomach were warm under Alphinaud’s hands; Estinien sighed quietly as he pushed his shirt up. “But I didn’t want to hear you complain.”

Part of him wanted to point out that Estinien’s armor consisted largely of sharp edges and would probably ruin his sheets. A much larger part was taken up with the vision in front of him once his lover’s shirt—and, very shortly thereafter, the rest of his clothing—was unceremoniously tossed to the floor. He sprawled back and watched him strip, wishing for his sketchbook and a pencil at hand. Estinien was _beautiful;_ the flickering candlelight made his hair gleam, traced the scars of a lifetime of battle, smoothed the harsh angles of his form. As he leaned over him, smirking, to reach for the oil they kept in the bedside table, Alphinaud ran a hand down his ribs. “I want to draw you one day. In better lighting.” _In full afternoon sunlight, turning your body gold under me…_

Estinien’s grip tightened on the vial; he had a moment to think _oh gods why did I say that_ before he was being kissed, hard and rough enough to leave him breathless, and then his lover was pulling away to settle himself between his thighs. He was fully hard, and the thought flitted across Alphinaud’s mind that one night—preferably one when he didn’t have anything important to do for at least the next week—he might just ask Estinien to stuff him.

Not tonight, though. Tonight his lover’s gaze was heated, raking over Alphinaud’s body and coming to rest on his half-hard cock with an intensity that made him tremble. “And what will be my reward, then, for serving as your model?” Oil poured onto his fingers, dripping onto the sheets, and Alphinaud gasped at the first caress against his hole. “To feel you writhe on my fingers?” One finger slid in, achingly slow, and his breath hitched at the first twinge of pleasure. Estinien’s eyes gleamed as he squirmed. “Mmm, like that—by the Fury, you’re so _hot_.”

He huffed, glaring up at him. “That oil is _freezing_ —nnh, oh, there--” The right angle sent a pulse of arousal through him, hot and slow, and he wrapped a leg around Estinien’s waist to encourage him to more.

“Oh, look at you.” Another finger joined the first, stretching him wider, and he whimpered and bucked against it. Cold the oil may have been, but it warmed quickly; between the heat of his desire and the way Estinien braced himself with his free hand, holding himself over him to nibble along his throat, he felt nearly feverish. Estinien growled quietly, barely lifting his lips from his skin. “You could come just like this, couldn’t you? But you want more.”

“Gods—yes, please!” Two fingers was good but it wasn’t _enough;_ he worked his hips roughly against Estinien’s hand, seeking more friction. Still, when a third slipped in he cried out, raking his nails down Estinien’s back. “Es—nnnh, like that, just like _that_ …” His voice nearly broke as Estinien’s fingers curled, striking spots inside of him that made him see stars. He knew he could come just from this—he had before, when Estinien was worn out himself but still determined to leave him helpless with pleasure—but that wasn’t what he wanted. He scratched along his shoulders, panting, as that glorious hand worked him open. _More. I want—more—_ “Don’t _tease_. Just—gods, just _fuck_ me.”

Teeth nipped sharply at the curve of his shoulder, making him jolt. His lover drew back, eyes warm and nearly affectionate. “Well. Since you sound so sweet begging me for it, I may as well oblige.”

“I am _not_ —ah!” Fingers withdrew with an obscene sound, leaving him open and empty and dizzy with want, and he truly was on the verge of begging for a moment—and then Estinien’s cock was sliding in, one long smooth thrust, and he keened and arched as it filled him. _It’s been too long…_

Gods, and he’d almost forgotten how it felt, too. Nothing he could do on his own really compared to the feeling of Estinien’s cock in him, the delicious heat and the way it filled him so completely that he was sure all the air had been driven out of his lungs. All he could manage was to hike his legs up around his waist, drawing his nails across Estinien’s back as he bucked his hips up for a better angle; Estinien grabbed roughly at his ass to pull him in closer, and he thrilled at the sound of his lover’s growl. “So damned _tight_. Is this all you called me for, then? To fuck your sweet arse until you scream?”

His breath caught in his throat, but Estinien didn’t give him time to formulate anything resembling a response; the first hard thrust into him made him gasp loudly and grab for his shoulders at the rush of pleasure, and he could actually feel Estinien smirking against his hair as he did it again. And _again_ , snapping his hips forward as he started to set exactly the sort of fast pace they both liked. It was intense, nearly overwhelming, and he had to lunge up to sink his teeth into Estinien’s collarbone to stifle a cry when a minute shift in angle sent electric tingles through each limb. “Gods--” And he wasn’t _stopping_ ; Alphinaud clawed roughly down his back, rocking into each thrust to draw him on. “Yes, just like that, keep going…”

Estinien’s only answer was a snarl, shifting his weight; his nails dug into Alphinaud’s soft skin as he bore down harder, leaving him pinned and near helpless as he fucked into him. Still, he did exactly as Alphinaud asked him to, each slide past his prostate sending shockwaves throughout his body. It was almost too much; every muscle in his body felt wound tight to breaking, and he was half-sure that any moment now he’d simply fall apart. And yet it wasn’t enough. “Esti—ah, please, gods, more--”

“Halone’s blessed _tits_ , Alphinaud…” That rough hand left his ass, wrapping tightly around his cock, and he moaned as Estinien’s fingers rippled. Assaulted on all sides by sensation, pulse roaring in his ears, he barely registered his lover’s voice. “More? Like this? Is _this_ how you want me?”

“Ye—“ Seven hells, he was so _close_. “Yes, _yes_ , Estini—ahh!” The hand pumping along his shaft sped up, frustratingly offset from the rhythm of his lover’s thrusts. Alphinaud grabbed for his shoulders, his hair, anything that would anchor him through the waves of pleasure he could feel cresting deep within him. Thoughts and words fled, but they didn’t matter; all that mattered now was how Estinien made him _feel_. His hand, his cock, the way he panted into Alphinaud’s hair with each thrust—it was impossible to bear. _More. Please, I—_ And then Estinien was driving into him faster, hand working him hard, and he bit down on his lover’s good shoulder to muffle his scream as the first wave of his orgasm had him spilling all over his own stomach.

A second followed hard on its heels and Estinien’s breath hitched; even squeezing tightly around his shaft, Alphinaud could feel the way his cock pulsed as he pounded into him. “Fury—ah, _Alphinaud_.” It was nearly a prayer, breath washing over Alphinaud’s ear as he picked up the pace to chase his own release. He knew the moment before it struck by the way Estinien growled low in his throat before slamming into him hard, coming with a final gasp.

For a few long moments, neither of them moved. Alphinaud wasn’t sure he _could_. Estinien’s hot weight on top of him was more than welcome, and he wrapped his arms around him to pull him closer. “Mmm.”

Estinien shifted slowly, pulling out of him with a low groan. Alphinaud shivered at the unexpectedly gentle kiss to his neck. “Mrph. Have I satisfied you _now_?”

He was sore, more than a little sticky, and he felt like melting. It was perfect. Sighing, he unlocked his legs from around his lover’s waist, squirming under him; now that he wasn’t being fucked silly, it was starting to occur to him that the air not presently occupied by Estinien Wyrmblood was _cold_. “Mmh-hmm. Very—very much so, yes.”

“Good.” Estinien lifted his head, capturing his mouth in a soft kiss. He could be tender sometimes, after their fun, and it always made something clench painfully in Alphinaud’s chest. Especially when he pulled away to breathe, “As I’m the guest here, let me clean up…”

He huffed quietly as Estinien sat up, reaching across the bed for Alphinaud’s stash of spare cloths. It was a move that was normally followed by Estinien pulling his clothing back on and slipping out the door, vanishing to gods-knew-where for weeks at a time. “You haven’t worn out your welcome yet, you know.” The scratches he’d left across Estinien’s back were dark welts in the candlelight. If they stung, he didn’t give a sign; his hands were efficient and quick at cleaning up the worst of the mess. He didn’t make a sound, and for a moment Alphinaud wasn’t sure if he’d heard him. _Or he did, and he’s going to leave even faster than he normally does…_

And then Estinien was hovering over him, sliding a hand into his hair, and kissing him slowly. His voice was a nearly-fond purr when he broke it. “You mean you _want_ to listen to me snore? For I’ll surely need sleep at some point tonight…”

 _It’s worth it._ Even if the man’s snoring _did_ sound like a dying dragon with a head cold, at least he’d be by his side. Alphinaud couldn’t help but smile wryly. “I think I’ll live. But come under the covers with me, at least—‘twill be warmer that way.”

An eyebrow went up. “You call this cold? Hrmph.”

“We can’t all be born and bred in Coerthas.” As he rolled to tug the heavy blankets over both of them, cocooning them in warmth, he couldn’t help but tease a bit at the memory. “I recall when you came here in high summer; I thought you were going to _melt_. Your face was so flushed…”

He gasped as Estinien pinched his hip, a soft rumble escaping him as he settled onto his side. “That was nothing so ridiculous as the weather.” His hand skimmed over the spot, soothing it, as he smirked down at him. “It was your fault. You were wearing those shorts in the wading pools, and I had half a mind to carry you off right then and there.”

His face burned, and he pressed it into the cool side of the pillow. That day was etched into his memory forever; he hadn’t expected to see Estinien at all, much less around the other Scions, and it had been a struggle to maintain his own dignity when faced with the unexpected sight of the former Azure Dragoon of Ishgard wearing civilian clothes and grumbling about the weather. It had been bad enough to feel his heart flutter up into his throat at the sound of Estinien saying his name, and then Lyse had invited him into the garden’s pools with them. Thank the gods he’d declined, or Alphinaud was sure his reaction would have been embarrassing. _Still…even then, you wanted me?_ He huffed, drawing closer. It was still cold outside the covers, but here they were creating their own little pocket of heat. “ _Thank you_ for reconsidering.”

“Mmm. I thought you wouldn’t like it.” Estinien’s arm curled around him, a heavy, reassuring weight, and he let his eyes drift shut. His voice was quiet, more warm than heated. “Though I think I do miss the sight of you dressed so. Perhaps one day you could craft a self-portrait.”

 _That_ did something to his heart, and he couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips. “Perhaps I will. So long as I may also draw _you_ , to fix your face in my mind when you’re not here…” It would be a poor substitute, but better than nothing.

Estinien pulled him close, half on top of him, and tangled their legs together gently. A hand carded through his hair, and Alphinaud made a soft sound as Estinien’s chuckle reverberated through both of them. “Call for me more often, then. ‘Tis hardly a burden.”

The thought sent a shiver through him. _More often? Gods, I never want you to leave. I want you in my arms forever._ “…So long as I can tolerate your snores, I suppose.”

And now he was laughing and oh, that wasn’t fair. It made Alphinaud want to kiss him _far_ too much. “So says the great blanket-thief of Ala Mhigo!”

“Are you complaining?” He opened his eyes to darkness; Estinien had blown the candle out. Still, he didn’t need light to give his lover a stern look. “Lend me your furnace heat more often, and I won’t need to go to such lengths.”

Estinien nuzzled lightly at the edge of one ear, pressing a soft kiss to it. “I won’t be going anywhere tonight, I assure you. ‘Tis far too cold to leave your arms.”

He sighed, pillowing his head on Estinien’s chest. He wouldn’t ask Estinien to wake him when he left; he knew he’d be lucky if he got so much as a note. In the morning his bed and his heart would be empty, and he’d be alone again. That was their arrangement, and he had to be content with it. “…Mmm.”

Strong arms wrapped tightly around him, and Estinien made a questioning noise as Alphinaud flung a leg over his hips. “Hm? Oh, planning on keeping me here…”

“Grmph.” _Stop running away so much and I won’t have to. You take my heart with you when you go._ A sigh escaped him as he nestled in, trying to ignore the ache in his chest. _But I know you’re not the type to stay around. I know that. Even if I…_

… _By the gods, I think I might be in love with you._

He didn’t say it; Estinien would be gone by morning even if he did. But the knowledge of it burned like a coal in his stomach, and sleep was a long time coming.


	2. tied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /groans loudly
> 
> this followup took way longer than I wanted it to for how short it is
> 
> anyway have some Feels

The sky was lightening gradually, giving way to a gray dawn over Ala Mhigo. Estinien sat up and watched it, mind a half-asleep pleasant haze. He could feel the seconds drag by like honey, each drop cutting into the time he would have to make his escape in, but he couldn’t quite make himself leave the bed yet. It was just the bed—soft sheets, satisfyingly firm mattress, the warmth that shielded him from the draft in the air. Nothing at all to do with the young man currently curled against his side.

Nothing to do with the now-familiar tightness in his chest every time he thought about him. Or the way he couldn’t  _stop_ thinking about him.  _There’s something I have to tell you._

Alphinaud shifted in his sleep; he’d flung an arm over Estinien’s waist from out of the shelter of his blankets, and now he was unconsciously drawing closer. The reminder of what they’d been up to a scant few hours earlier made heat rise in his face, and he grimaced as something in the vicinity of his heart twinged again. He’d thought—hoped—that that particular issue would get better; surely if he _saw_ Alphinaud, it would be easier to leave him alone. He’d been wrong. Every time, it grew more difficult to leave; every time it grew more vital that he do so quickly and with a minimum of fuss. _I ought never have gotten attached._

Really, he should never have taken Alphinaud up on it in the first place, but weeks of increasingly blatant staring had been too tempting to resist teasing him for. He’d expected flustered blushing; to instead be met with a direct gaze and the bold question of whether that had been an _offer_ had been startling enough to make him rash. They’d made no promises, spoken no flowery words, but the heat and pleasure had seared into him deeply enough that it had been hours before he’d finally gathered his clothes and left.

And then he’d come back.

Then Alphinaud had _asked_ him back, had called him up through a crackling linkpearl connection malms away and breathed that he was wondering when Estinien might be in the area next, and he’d never been so grateful for aetherytes. It had been an entertaining diversion, a fine way to relieve stress. That was all it should have been, but…

By the Fury, there had been Alphinaud’s _smile_. The softness of his hair, the sleepy warmth in his voice afterwards—it was proving impossible to resist. _‘Tis hardly a burden. More than that—I should welcome it. I know not whether I ever want to leave._

It was light enough to see by, if he squinted. Sighing, he disentangled himself from Alphinaud’s arms and made to leave the bed. If he gathered up his clothing quietly enough, he could _probably_ leave without waking him. It would be kinder that way.

“…Estinien?”

 _Damn._ “It’s early. Go back to sleep.”

Alphinaud rolled over on his side, blinking at him. A lock of snowy hair had fallen in his face, and Estinien wrestled with the urge to smooth it back. “It _is_ early. And ‘twill be cold and damp outside. Come back to bed?”

He had his trousers in one hand. He could put them back on and leave. But there _was_ a chill to the air, and the faintest twinges where Nidhogg’s eyes had once seeped evil tendrils into his skin warned that it was probably going to rain. _Perhaps a few more hours._

Alphinaud reached for him as he slid back under the covers, wrapping slender arms around him. It was deliciously warm; for a moment he simply lay there, burying his face in Alphinaud’s hair and feeling his steady heartbeat. Cocooned in soft blankets, it was easy to forget the outside world even existed, and he felt himself start to drift. _This…this is good. I should do this more often._ True sleep was always difficult for him to come by, but somehow—with Alphinaud tucked against his chest, sighing softly as he tangled their legs together—it felt much easier to attain.

Delicate fingers trailed down his side, and he shivered. “Mm…”

“My apologies.” It was barely a murmur. “We both should sleep…”

But those clever fingers were still tracing patterns over his hip, and the faint pressure of nails was enough to drive all thoughts of sleep from Estinien’s mind. He wriggled lightly, pressing against him. Neither of them were truly _awake_ yet, but he could still revel in the way Alphinaud’s breath caught in his throat at the slightest friction. “I’m not tired.”

“Oh. _Well_ , then.” Gods help him, Alphinaud was _smirking_. That expression always promised good things, and he had a pulse-racing moment of anticipation before his lover was shifting his weight, rolling him over onto his back to gaze slyly down at him. Even by itself, the view was glorious; when Alphinaud shifted to straddle his hips, each point of contact between them burned. “Let me help you with that.”

“By wearing me out further—“ Alphinaud pressed a featherlight kiss to his throat, and he trembled with it. The scars where he’d dug his spiked gauntlets into his own neck were rough patches of near-numbness, but somehow he always swore he could still feel that gentle touch every time. It didn’t stay gentle; when Alphinaud mouthed hard enough at the spot where collarbone met throat so that he felt the faint prick of teeth, he groaned out loud. “Ahh, that feels good…”

Alphinaud lifted his head, looking immensely satisfied. “Best not to be _too_ loud.”

A retort was on the tip of his tongue—surely he didn’t expect _silence_ when he was doing such things to him!—but then his lover was reaching a hand between them to slide down his stomach, and he bit back the noise that wanted to escape when Alphinaud’s nails scratched lightly over his muscles. They’d agreed to be discreet, but that always drove him wild, made him want to be reckless and tell him to leave marks people would _see_. “By the Fury, you feel—oh—” A warm hand wrapped around his cock, stroking him to full hardness, and he rolled his hips into it with a breathless gasp.

“Good?” Alphinaud still sounded entirely too smug at having so effectively woken him; Estinien decided to rectify that. When he ran his thumb along the edge of one ear, he was immensely gratified to hear his breath hitch. “Gods, mm—oh, good _morning_.”

He chuckled quietly, rubbing his thigh against the heat of his lover’s hardening cock. “I didn’t want to be the only one waking up. But I forgot how absolutely _insatiable_ you can be.” Not that he was complaining, especially not at the way Alphinaud gasped, grinding against him in a way that was almost as good as the slow movement of his hand.

“It’s all your doing…mm.” He took a breath and sat up, pulling away; the loss of contact made Estinien growl, but it was quickly made up for by Alphinaud’s murmur of, “I want to ride you.”

He swallowed hard. “ _Please_.”

“Where’s that oil—” Lunging over to the nightstand nearly unbalanced him; Estinien laughed and grabbed his hips to steady him. Fury, but he could watch Alphinaud for hours, even with the slight pout as he snatched up what was left of their oil.

 _Maybe I should have put it slightly closer, I forgot how much shorter he is._ Granted, he’d certainly gotten taller since they’d first met, but with the way Alphinaud carried himself it was easy to forget that Estinien could still easily rest his chin on top of his head if he felt like it. He couldn’t help the grin that tugged at his lips as he sat up, gathering his lover close. “Let me do the preparations, you make the  sweetest sounds…”

That blush was _adorable_. “You’ll make me entirely abandon all discretion—oh, but _please_.” Alphinaud arched as he trailed oil-slick fingers down the cleft of his arse, teasing lightly before sliding one in. It drew a quiet gasp out of him, turning to a shaky little moan as Estinien lowered his head to mouth at the marks on his throat he’d left earlier.

He wasn’t normally inclined towards slow and careful, but…well. It _was_ early. They could always be more energetic after breakfast. And Alphinaud _did_ make the sweetest sounds; when he added another finger, sliding into his lover’s impossible heat and feeling him writhe in his lap, he thrilled to his cry of pleasure. “Oh, you _like_ that. More?”

Alphinaud growled, digging his nails into his shoulderblades; Estinien gasped, bucking his hips against him, as they dragged down the marks he’d left that night. His voice was a breathy whisper. “Don’t tease me.”

Just for that, Estinien moved slowly, stretching him wider and feeling him tremble and sigh as he found the spot that he knew would make his lover see stars. “Maybe I want to. Maybe…mm, maybe I want to hear you beg, first.” He could, if he went slowly enough—could keep him strung on the edge for ages, hearing all the delicious noises that could be coaxed out of him before finally letting him come. The thought was appealing.

And then sharp little teeth nipped at his throat, and his breath hitched as Alphinaud murmured, “With the way you touch me? I’m—nnh, you’d have me screaming your name to half of Ala Mhigo.”

“Good.” Another finger, then, just as slow, and Alphinaud _whimpered_. It made Estinien growl, running his free hand up his lover’s spine to grab at the silky-soft hair at the nape of his neck. “I want to hear you—by the Fury, you always sound so good for me.” He curled his fingers, feeling his lover’s whole body jolt, and breathed, “Though you _feel_ better.”

“Gods, Esti—ah! Give me your cock, then, and I’ll show you…” Alphinaud met his gaze, eyes heated; Estinien felt a little faint at the emotion on his face.

He was powerless against it; when he pulled his fingers out with a lewdly wet sound so that Alphinaud could wrap his legs around him and sink down on his length, they both groaned at the sensation. _Blessed Fury, but he feels wonderful…_ Some part of him always wanted to roll his lover over, to pin him down on the bed and pound into him until he was left sated and trembling, but that part felt oddly quiet for once. His world had narrowed down to this bed, to the beautiful young man taking him in ilm by ilm as though he’d been made for it, and the only thing he could think about was how he never wanted it to end. Alphinaud was rolling his hips, sound escaping him in little gasps and moans at each movement, and Estinien drew him in for a long, slow kiss. “Perfect.”

“Flatterer—oh, gods…” Alphinaud moaned and arched his back, letting Estinien buck his hips upwards as they found a better angle. The movement exposed the long line of his throat; when Estinien lowered his head to trail his mouth down it, he realized his own pulse was racing in time with the one under his lips.

“Mmm.” Normally he would tease more, letting filthy words pass his lips to see his lover flushed and squirming with them, but somehow words didn’t seem necessary now. Not when there was Alphinaud in his arms, hot and tight and gloriously alive, and he _might_ lean back and glory in the way Alphinaud moved when he was stuffed full of his cock—but that would mean not touching him quite so much, and he suddenly needed to run his hands over him.

So he did. He smoothed his palms slowly down his lover’s spine, swallowing his sigh with another kiss—Fury, his skin was so _soft_. _Gods_ , he thought desperately, _let it stay that way. I don’t care what they say about battle scars—he should never have such pain._ Alphinaud’s fingers raked at his back, tangling in the ends of his hair; he could feel last night’s scratches again, and it was enough to make him moan and rock up into him.

Alphinaud groaned at that, low and heated. “Seven hells, you’re incredible. _More_.”

He was already setting his own pace; when his legs flexed around Estinien’s waist, seeming to pull him impossibly deeper, Estinien’s breath caught in his throat. Between the heat of his body and the emotions surging through him, he had to take a moment to hold himself still and remember how to breathe. Only a moment, though—his lover _had_ asked for more, and he intended to oblige. His hands settled at Alphinaud’s hips, thumbs digging into the curve of his hipbones. “Is _this_ what you want, then?” A slow, firm thrust, and he thrilled to the way Alphinaud arched into it. “Just like this?”

“Ah—yes—” Alphinaud’s voice broke off as he moved, fucking himself on Estinien’s cock; Estinien growled at the sensation. For all his insistence on staying quiet, he couldn’t seem to manage it; each shift in position brought a gasp or a tiny moan, and it was _intoxicating_. “Estinien, _gods_ …”

“ _Alphinaud_.” He sucked in a breath, ignoring the ache in his throat. “You feel…” Words failed him; all he could do was clutch at him, burying his face in his hair as he focused on moving, on keeping to the same pace that Alphinaud had set. This was perfect, he could _die_ like this and count himself content as long as his lover was satisfied. When Alphinaud bit at his collarbone, he almost came undone right there, holding himself back only by great effort. _Not yet._

It would probably be soon; Alphinaud’s little noises were taking on a higher, frantic pitch. “Keep going, just like that, I—” When Estinien slid a hand between them to wrap firmly around his cock, he keened wordlessly and jolted, grinding against him.

Estinien grinned fiercely, stroking him roughly in time with his movements. Alphinaud was beautiful like this, pale skin flushed red and the marks he’d left standing out like brands. _Beautiful. Beautiful and—mine, gods, let him be just mine._ “Good. Good, let go for me, I want to _feel_ you…”

“…Nnh, Estinien.” A few more strokes, hard and fast, and Alphinaud was gasping as he spilled over him—and then he was shuddering, spasming hard around Estinien’s cock and scratching down his spine, and he couldn’t take it anymore.

He had to squeeze his eyes shut, grabbing blindly for his lover’s arse as his own release raced through him. Thought vanished; all that mattered was _feeling_. “I—by the Fury, Alphinaud, I _love_ you—”

For the space of two heartbeats, his mind was blank. Alphinaud was wrapped around him, breathing starting to even out as he came down from his orgasm; as he rested his forehead on his shoulder, his hair spilled over Estinien’s chest, light enough to tickle. He was a deliciously warm weight against him, but it wasn’t quite enough to pull his mind away from the faint aches now making themselves known throughout his body—and the chill settling over his heart. _I should not have said that._

Alphinaud took a deep breath, letting it out in a sigh. He didn’t seem inclined to move yet. That was good; Estinien could breathe easier with him against his chest. “That was…mm. A wonderful way to wake up.”

He couldn’t stop the quiet laugh that escaped him. Of course Alphinaud _would_ say that; the man seemed allergic to sleeping past ten bells. “A wonderful way to prepare for a nap, you mean.” _To the hells with it. He can throw me out later._

In the meantime, though, Alphinaud was slowly shifting, pulling away with a faint wince. “Mm. I should…” He gestured wordlessly; Estinien felt like lead had replaced most of his muscles, but he managed to lean over far enough to find clean cloths and hand them to him. They cleaned up in silence. When Estinien sprawled back, turning down one corner of the covers, Alphinaud slipped in next to him and closed his eyes. He had to turn his face away, suddenly unable to handle the thought of his lover’s face twisted in disapproval.

Just when he thought that, maybe, Alphinaud hadn’t heard it—that they could keep going on as they’d been, unchanged—he spoke. “…Did you mean that? What you—ah.” He swallowed nervously, and Estinien felt his stomach drop. “What you said earlier.”

 _Halone, have mercy on me._ The thought of denial flitted into his mind and just as quickly left it; he would not be so cruel to him. But it still took a while, even so, for him to find words. “…Should it not be to your liking, I’ll never speak of it again.” _We agreed that this was only a diversion. I can hardly blame him if he would sooner keep to that._ “But…yes.” _With all my heart._

“Oh, _Estinien_.” The tremor in Alphinaud’s voice drew his gaze; he risked glancing down at him and immediately felt a little faint at the way he was looking at him—wide-eyed, shaken, close to tears. He hadn’t seen Alphinaud so emotional since the day he’d woken up in the infirmary after Nidhogg. Reckless or no, he suddenly yearned to slide an arm around him.

When Alphinaud surged up to kiss him, he did. It was slow, sweet, and it made his chest ache with the depth of the feelings surging through it. He buried a hand in Alphinaud’s hair, feeling him sigh into his mouth; something in him melted at the quiet noise.

Alphinaud drew back to rest against his shoulder, voice soft and wondering. “You love me.”

“Hrmph. Don’t make me repeat it.” _I might never stop._

He was quiet for a long while. When he spoke, it was so soft Estinien barely dared believe that he heard it. “…I…” He hesitated, ears slowly turning red; Estinien could feel his heartbeat pick up. “I find myself feeling much the same. Might we…continue this? As a regular occurrence?”

Relief washed over him. “Gods, _yes_.” He took what felt like his first proper breath in an age, realizing as he did that movement was becoming an impossibility. With the last onze of his strength, he tugged Alphinaud into his arms. “But not today, for you really _have_ worn me out.” Indeed, he couldn’t suppress a yawn that made his ears pop. “Wake me when ‘tis time for breakfast…”

Alphinaud half-turned to stare at him, blinking in surprise. “You mean you plan on staying?”

Well. He supposed he _had_ never actually stayed past dawn before, but there was a first time for everything. _‘_ _Twill be interesting. We can figure out what to say later…_ “I’m certainly not leaving you _alone_. I’ll see you at a more decent hour.”

His lover laughed quietly, dropping his head back to his chest. “Well, in that case, I’ll wake you in time for a hot meal. For now, I’m not moving either.”

“Hmm.” He knew he was smiling and he couldn’t stop; Alphinaud _loved_ him. Peace lay over him like their blankets did. And, for once, it was easy to drift off to sleep.


End file.
